— John Updike
Cheyanne (on seeing an old friend): “And he was like, do you remember me? And I was like, of course I do! You used to be fat!”
Cheyanne: “What, Gaby? He knows he was fat!”
Dad’s friend: “Your hair is so blonde now, Chey, but when you were younger your hair was darker.”
Cheyanne: (slowly inching away from the table) “THE JIG IS UP. ABORT. ABORT.”
Dad: "May God bless you and make you like Sara, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah."
Cheyanne: “And Kim Kardashian.”
Me: “And Tina Fey.”
Cheyanne: "The only way I’d marry into the Bush family is if it’s Reggie Bush."
Cheyanne: “I want to get my tubes tied.”
Me: "Me too."
Cheyanne: “Do you think they do 2-for-1s?”
Cheyanne: “One time I saw two dwarfs dancing together at the club and I started crying because I was so happy for them, because they had like, found each other, you know? And then I had to go home.”
Watching Harry Potter on Demand:
Me: “Ew, Voldemort’s teeth!”
Cheyanne: “Gaby, I don’t think being a Dark Lord comes with health insurance.”
Cheyanne (seeing Hagrid): “I don’t really like giants. I only like midgets.”