Name: Sara Faith Alterman
Age: 30
Hometown: Boston girl living in San Francisco

Q. Where did the idea for Virgin Ears come from?

A. Virgin Ears is a collection of stories about the songs people associate with early physical experiences, from first slow dances to first kisses to first sex.  I’ve felt an intense connection to music since I was a child. Both of my parents are musicians, my brother is a musician, I started studying piano when I was 3 and voice when I was 14 — music has always been a huge part of my life, which is why I think that I have so many strong memories that are somehow related to particular songs.

My own story about how I lost my virginity is one of my favorite stories in general to tell, because the punchline involves a Metallica song, and who doesn’t love a good James Hetfield reference? The last time I told it in a group, I started thinking about other songs that evoke strong memories for me, and I realized that I have kind of a soundtrack in my brain for many of those pivotal first moments. I started asking around to see if this was unique to me and, as it turns out, most of my friends had hilarious and heartwarming stories about the musical backdrops to their own first times. I wanted to build a community for others to share their stories.

Q. Where do most of your submissions come from? Can anyone contribute?

A. I’m always looking for contributions! I get a lot of emails from people that say things like, “I have a funny story, but I’m a terrible writer. Can I still send you my story?” The answer is YES. I’m not trying to win some kind of pretentious journalism award, here. Send me bullet points, send me a video or audio recording of you telling your story, send me a comic book. The world wants to laugh with you about the time you made out on the Nordic Track in your parents’ basement while listening to Creed. Readers will be too busy peeing their pants to notice that you’re not Jonathan Franzen. Of course, Jonathan Franzen, if you want to contribute a story, then I might have elevated expectations for you.

I’ve posted a few stories of my own and a few stories from friends, but I do get a lot of submissions from random readers. I tried posting a call for submissions on Craigs List, but apparently any “adult” content is a big no-no for them now. Which is ridiculous. The whole point of Virgin Ears is to create a destination for sex-positive content. I’m not trying to lure information from people so that I can exploit them. (Sorry, Craigs List. I do appreciate your apartment listings.)

What’s important for would-be contributors to remember is that I understand that some people are shy. Just because I’m comfortable heralding every random and gratuitous detail about my personal life (sorry Mom) doesn’t mean that you have to be. Contributors are welcome to be identified however they want to be, whether that means by first name only, or even completely anonymously. Or hell, if you want first and last name and a link to your website, that’s fine too.

Q. Losing your virginity can be a personal and embarrassing topic to share, especially in writing and especially on the Internet. Did you have any qualms or have any writers you’ve approached had qualms? Or is that part of the appeal of writing about virginity?

A. Again, I try to be as supportive of and discreet about my contributors as possible. I’ve sort of built my career on sharing personal details about myself, but I am hyper-aware about protecting the privacy of others. I never use real names, and I’ve historically gotten the permission of people I write about, which includes sending awkward “Hey, um, do you mind if I?…” e-mails to ex-boyfriends. If sharing your own story on Virgin Ears seems compelling, but you’re afraid that someone you know will read it and have a massive freak out, you can contribute anonymously. 

Q. How important, in your opinion, is good music to a good first time?

A. I remember feeling much more comfortable with the whole, “Holy shit, I’m about to DO IT!” feeling because we were listening to music that I loved. I think most people will agree that great music has the ability to make you feel happy and powerful and motivated to do amazing things. Who doesn’t want to feel that way when they make out or have sex, particularly for the first time?

Q. What’s the worst song you can think of for a person to lose their virginity to?
 
A. Right off the bat, I’d say anything by the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies. For the most part, though, I suppose the musical choices depends on the people, and on the situation. For me, listening to old school Metallica made perfect sense. For people not into metal hair and sweet guitar riffs and songs about the failures of Christian Science, that’s probably not going to create special memories. In general, you want to pick music that makes you feel good, and that won’t ever become a karaoke standard. And won’t make you want to beat your head against the wall five years later. Right after the movie Titanic came out, I was asked to sing “My Heart Will Go On” at a friend’s wedding, for her first dance. I talked her out of it. I’d like to think that she has a better marriage because of it.

Q. What’s the best song you’ve heard someone else (or you yourself) has had as a sexual soundtrack?
 
A. Just today, I posted a story about a guy who lost his virginity in a car while listening to a techo remix of the Speed Racer theme song.  Just based on irony alone, it’s thus far my favorite. It made me want to build a time machine and do the whole thing over again. Not with him. But while listening to that song. 

Q. As a writer, do you find what you’re listening to influences what you’re writing about or how inspired you are?

A. Choosing music to work to is like choosing music to have sex to; you have to ask yourself if you want something relaxing and sensual, or if you just want to power through while you’re bobbing your head up and down.  I’m sort of a “method” writer, in the way that some actors are “method” actors; when I’m working on a piece,  I like to actually experience relevant emotions. If I’m writing about something poignant or nostalgic, I’ll listen to artists like Imogen Heap or The Decemberists or Camera Obscura, whose songs help me get into a particular mind frame. If I’m writing a humor piece, I like to listen to more upbeat and playful music, usually pop. A few years ago, I wrote a piece for The Boston Phoenix about up and coming opera singers, and I must have listened to the Queen of the Night’s aria from The Magic Flute about a hundred times.

And, frankly, nothing wrong with a little Lady Gaga when you’re trying to meet a deadline. It’s helpful to be able to tell myself, “That hot and crazy beast managed to pull off a dress made out of meat. All you have to do is write 300 words in the next 20 minutes.” It’s a nice motivator.

Check out VirginEars.com and follow SFA on twitter here.

Colorado college girls Lauren Zulkoski and Ellie DePue posted their first Youtube video, them discussing life in their shared apartment, 3 weeks ago. It currently has 73 views.

Their latest, however, has over 37,000.

That’s because the pair of 19-year-old University of Colorado sophomores have become Internet famous as the girls who got their friends to fill up a senator’s voicemail box with pleas to repeal the United States’ “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for gays in the military.

The video is remarkably simple. Zulkoski and DePue, who asked male friends who lived in their building to help them flood Senator Michael Bennet’s inbox, are political beginners. They don’t try and pretend otherwise; one shot has them Googling the name of their senator before making the call.

In a joint telephone interview with gabydunn.com, the girls admitted they initially took action at the behest of their favorite pop star, Lady Gaga, who tweeted for her fans to call their senators and ask that the policy be repealed.

“We always felt strongly about this issue, but we just didn’t take action,” DePue said. The video opens on her standing in front of a poster of Gaga and the girls’ Youtube channel lists her as their sole favorite music. Gaga has also since made her own video calling her senator and asking that her followers send her videos of themselves doing the same.

“We were like, ‘Lady Gaga, you stole our idea!’” DePue joked.

The girls’ video is a one-two punch; it shows democracy in its truest form and it touches on a hot-button, emotional issue — factors that DePue and Zulkoski agree contributed to its popularity.

“Some people were criticizing us because we didn’t know our senator,” Zulkoski said. “But we wanted to show that even if you know nothing about politics, but you have an inkling about something you think isn’t right, that there’s a way to get involved. You don’t need to know 100 percent about everything. You can learn about it. It was our first time calling a senator.”

The girls tweeted their video to SLDN.org, the website for the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, who then helped spread it around the Internet. In the morning, the video, which had 20 hits when DePue and Zulkoski went to bed, had over 20,000.

Then, something amazing happened: Bennet made a video in response, agreeing to vote to end DADT.

“We can’t believe that it actually worked,” DePue said. “It’s hard to take it all in.”

The girls were cheered by the Internet community and called “heroes” and “role models.” Perusing the comments on their video shows people wishing their kids would “grow up to be this awesome” and saying the video made them cry. Former military members who were discharged for their sexualities have also shared their personal stories.

“Those are probably our favorite comments to read,” Zulkoski said. “We didn’t realize how much it changes people.”

In the past 48 hours since the video went viral, DePue and Zulkoski have already started working on a follow-up for a campaign called “Vote Again 2010.” The “silly but informative” video, to be released on Monday, will encourage young people to vote for equal rights “because Lady Gaga wants them to.”

“Our generation, younger people, we understand that it’s wrong and it makes perfect sense to us,” Zulkoski said. “The politicians are all older and a different generation than us. The politicians don’t see eye to eye with the young public.”

Zulkoski said the friends and neighbors they asked to call in the video didn’t need any convincing to participate.

“We just believe in equality for everyone. We don’t think what’s going on is constitutional at all and it’s not what America stands for,” DePue said. “We don’t even understand how people are against it.”

Greyson Chance with Ellen on her show. Lady Gaga called in to say she’d seen his video, immediately putting the baby-faced middle-schooler back in diapers. (Can. not. blame. him!)

Was watching this video of 12-year-old Greyson performing Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” and discussing it with my bud Nate Wolfson — Nate said he thought the girls in the background of the video look so super totally bored during what is an AMAZING performance by this kid probably because he’s not all that popular at his middle school.

I mean, a sixth grade boy getting up on stage and passionately singing and playing piano along with a Gaga song is probably wedgie-worthy. Either Greyson’s got a ton of self-confidence and is already like, “Fuck ‘em all” Kurt Hummel-style or he’s still in that blessedly naive place of childhood where you don’t understand what can be potentially embarrassing. (Side note: Why does that phase ever have to end??? So depressing.)

Luckily, the Internet exists.

Greyson is now a ‘web-lebrity!’ His video’s got over 8 million views. He’s gathering an avalanche of subscribers, all writing to say how much they f-love his videos and how talented he is. He got to perform on the Ellen show this week! Would he have ever had this kind of massive, immediate validation of his talent without putting that video on Youtube? Judging by the majority of the background audience’s expressions during his act, probably not.

I first started existing on the Internet when I was around Greyson’s age. Because I was lonely. I had no one I felt I could talk to really, and I spent most of my time either reading or writing. Alone.

An average day consisted of mooning over a more popular crush who wouldn’t acknowledge me in public with my legit four friends, and writing short stories furiously in an array of different colored notebooks. An average interaction was, “Hey Gaby, what are you writing?” “Nothing!” (hides notebook) “You’re always writing so much! That looks like 6 full pages. Is it a story?” “No!” “Whatever, why are you always writing so much? That’s so lame.”

You get the idea.

Eventually, enough days like that and you start to believe maybe you are lame for being into what you’re into. You start to believe you really are the ONLY. PERSON. LIKE. YOURSELF. IN. THE. WORLD. It sucks.

It was then that I got online and started sharing my stories on message boards and in forums. Lo and behold, people thought I was good! I made friends! I had a place to discuss writing with others who told me I was talented! It was amazing and motivating and inspiring.

People like Greyson (and to a lesser extent, myself) are lucky to be born in an era with the Internet. Though there’s always the (occasionally rightful) hullabaloo over kids spending too much time online and how the web can be used for evil, I know that being able to see I could be appreciated outside the world I was restricted to (being a kid) allowed me to grow in ways I probably wouldn’t have without the Internet.

So keep those blank expressions, girls in the back of Greyson’s video — he’s got over 8 million people giving him a standing ovation.