You guys, I’m really, really mad right now so I hope this comes out even halfway coherent because I’m trying very hard to formulate what about this is making me so immediately angry.

There’s this article in the NY Post about a group of women choosing to be celibate. The catch is I found the article through the Facebook page of a girl I don’t know personally but who I have mutual friends with. She’s one of the women profiled in the article and has been promoting her story on Facebook — and to other media outlets and basically getting a heap of attention for her decision not to let randos (or anyone, I guess) touch her lady business anymore.

Again, I don’t know the girl personally and I considered reaching out to her before writing this, but I wanted to get my feelings out based solely on what I’ve seen in print — because that’s what was provided to readers at large. I’d absolutely love to discuss this further with her after I verbal-vomit what I need to here.

Okay.

I’m angry because under the guise of female empowerment, these women have really only further reduced our gender to our vaginas — how we’re using them and how we’re not using them.

It’s like all we have to offer is what’s between our legs and the only thing of interest about any of us is how many people we do or don’t let penetrate that hole. One of the women is even a former beauty queen who gets patted on the back for not becoming a hooker.

Here’s the thing. A hooker is someone who profits off sex for money, right? And these women have sold their vaginas (and the deeply personal decision not to use them, which should not matter to anyone) as their greatest commodity to a sensationalizing media for even more unnecessary sensational publicity.

I wonder if it’s weird to be celibate when you’re whoring yourself out so hard?

It doesn’t help that every woman profiled in the article is really pretty. It’s like the Post is goading us to say, WAIT. A conventionally good-looking person has decided not to have sex?! TELL ME MORE. But I don’t understand!!!!! They are pretty!!!! Don’t you see?! Look at the glamour shots along with the article!!! How can these pretty women not be having sex?!?!?!?! Because look at them, they totally could be! It’s insanity! It’s madness! STOP THE PRESSES. HOLD MY CALLS, JANET. WE HAVE SOME PRETTY LADIES WHO REFUSE TO FUCK!

Look, I gave up soda three years ago. Sometimes I work long hours and could really use a Pepsi. Where’s my article, NY Post????

I also deeply abhor the implication that men are an enemy who only want sex from us and a distraction we have to rise above in order to break through the glass ceiling and reach our full potential as women. Sex isn’t something women like or enjoy or need in life. Sex isn’t something a woman can do in moderation — you’re either the chaste virgin or a raging slut who just can’t help herself. Sex isn’t something that can be equal for both parties. Sex is something men take from us and we’re just so much better than them that we happen to either a) lay back and acquiesce their silly penis or b) throw ourselves into it in the hopes that they’ll propose to us one day and make us truly complete.

Basically, I find the way this article was written and the way it portrayed these women’s thought processes (which I can only guess they find accurate since there hasn’t been a correction run and one is promoting the idea all over the ‘book) to be — rather than empowering — actually degrading to women and everything we have to offer. It just makes us seem so vapid and useless in a world that already finds us vapid and useless.

Obviously, a woman can’t be both productive and sexually active — in order to accomplish anything you must be chaste or else you’ll spend all your time twirling your hair at the dude across from you on the F train wondering if he’ll put a ring on it if you let him do anal.

If you choose not to have sex, it’s a decision you’ve made in your life and I hope it works out well for you. Just don’t try to sell it to me like it’s a boon for ladies everywhere to be celibate and DON’T try to profit off of it. Don’t try to equate it with gender and don’t feed so willingly into a salacious media that cares way too much about what’s been inside of you lately.

Then, you’ll have truly given up getting fucked.

1. gabydunn posted this