Last night I was on The Pete Holmes Show. And I’ve got video to prove it!
My obsession with you continues, Nate Fernald.
Last night, at an open mic, a male comic literally exposed his penis on stage but you know, what do women have to complain about again?
Also, he wasn’t funny.
duncanskiles asked: Why do you look so over it in your new pic? Not suggesting you need to change or anything, just wondering what happened between this one and the last.
Dark lipstick happened.
I’m gonna write thoughts on Bates Motel this season. Last night was the first episode so here we go:
"Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m gonna make them alive. But I’m just a fucked-up girl who’s lookin’ for my own peace of mind. Don’t assign me yours." - Clementine, "Eternal Sunshine”
The first aspect of the second season premiere I want to talk about is, oddly, a character I expected to be a two-dimensional throwaway representing Norman’s problems with women; and that is #teen dream Bradley Martin.
That was bleak! I had other plans for writing this morning and on this Tumblr (which I want to do more of). I always promise to write more here, but truthfully Thought Catalog was great for working the muscle because I HAD to write three pieces a day and I haven’t felt as regimented since I left my job there more than a year ago. It was nice/stressful/probably good for me to have to write every day at that capacity and for that audience.
I was maybe going to write about dating but that’s a whole can of worms I don’t even know if I want to open. I will say that I’m constantly pleased by the realization that relationships I’m in don’t have to look like relationships I’ve seen before — in life or in media. I think sometimes I only felt the way I did because it was how I thought I was supposed to feel, but there’s no “rules” for dating. You can make it up as you go along and there’s no “right” way.
I mean it all sucks and human emotion is terrible and we should all just be sex robots, but until we reach that plane of delightful icy heartedness, it’s cool to mold relationships into whatever we want or need them to be.
Anonymous asked: Thank you for talking about your mental illness issue. I honestly did not know it was NOT normal to have suicidal thoughts as a child... it only makes me gather courage to seek a therapist as fast as possible, because my life has been a big mess since I'm young and I'm starting to consider that maybe, just maybe, it's not because I'm a big fat failure. I'd rather be a failure than to be mentally ill, but if I do have a condition, at least something can be done... thank you <3
You are so welcome. Talking to a professional really helps. Even depending on what the issues stem from — a support group of some kind can be really great for seeing you’re not alone or getting a handle on what is or isn’t behavior that needs to be worked on.
fifteen-seventeen asked: Hi! If this isn't too personal, I was wondering if you could talk about your experience with mental illness — how have you gotten better at dealing with it over time, when did you first find out/think you had it, any advice for other people dealing with that kind of thing?
It’s not too personal. I’m just never really sure where to begin. I think I had problems as a kid, definitely. (Some genetic, some home life.) I have little memories of being drawn to commit suicide at very young ages — in 4th grade standing at the top of the stairs at school and thinking I wanted to throw myself down them, etc etc. Vague suicidal ideation which people always sort of brushed off because I was so young and what 10 year old kills themselves? (Many, it turns out.)
I only really “lost it” a couple years ago. In the wake of that, I got really good at taking care of myself: eating breakfast and doing yoga and going to therapy. I’ve relapsed a few times and I end up in my bed for a few days or weeks. I’m on meds, but that’s been it’s own journey. Right now it’s Zoloft and Wellbutrin and it’s been pretty okay. I think they’re not working as well as they first did, which is disappointing. I’m the type of person who’s like, let’s fix it, let’s cure it, and let’s move on. But mental illness doesn’t work that way!
It’s also not only one thing. I kept trying to put myself into a category like, “Okay. I have depression. This is how you make depression better.” But then I also have anxiety, and various other mental health related stuff. I guess my advice would be you’re never going to be perfect, and with or without mental illness, no one is. You’re never going to “get back” to where you were or what you were like “before,” which is so often what I’m fixated on. I think I can work my way to neutral and be “normal” again, instead of accepting that this is normal right now, and that’s okay and I can live a pretty good life.