How did you get involved with Buzzfeed? I would love to write for them or intern or just be generally involved.
In 2010, I had a popular blog and a guy called Henry Goldman interviewed me about it for his blog and then four years later, Henry emailed me and was like, Sup? Remember me? I work at Buzzfeed now. Wanna work here too? And I was like, Who are you? Yes. (I am the worst person to ask how to get things as I generally stumble around being charming until stuff works out.)
In terms of being an intern, I’ve heard it’s competitive. Buzzfeed Video constantly takes interns though, and they post openings here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/about/jobs
Something I noticed, between the Bisexual Problems video, or your Bell Jar video, and now your work on Just Between Us/ Buzzfeed, is that your style of speaking changed dramatically. You've mentioned before how you are working on your on-camera presentation (before and after are both extraordinary, by the way), and I'm curious about whether you worked on your voice. If the change is intentional, how did you condition yourself to alter it? If it wasn't, to what do you attribute the change?
What a weird, specific question! I didn’t really do anything consciously to my voice other than getting older and becoming more aware of the camera/more confident. It honestly might just be confidence. I have WAY more now than I did even a year ago. :)
“Men who want to be feminists do not need to be given a space in feminism. They need to take the space they have in society & make it feminist.”—Kelley Temple, National Union of Students UK Women’s Officer (via feministkitsch)
After reading some of your writing (A.K.A stalking you) I can't help but wonder if sex is something that girls need or want it to be better than the partners before? If not then why do girls seem to move forward simply for the urge to sleep with someone else?
I don’t understand the question! Sorry! I think sex isn’t that mechanical (though mechanics are important). I think all people, not just women, want connection. That’s what makes sex good — and I don’t mean just emotional connection, I mean a physical connection too: wanting each other. So “better” is sort of subjective, isn’t it?
Do you ever go through long periods of time where you have creative ideas but you can't seem to get them down on paper? or just have a hard time focusing on writing in general?
Sure, I think all creative people do. It helps not to dwell on it because then you just spiral out into a Catch 22 of “Why can’t I write?” “Oh, god, I feel awful that I’m not writing” “I should write but I feel too sad about not writing!” It’ll never end. I’d say focus on other things and then all of a sudden the ideas will start spilling out again. The best stuff I’ve ever written has come after long dry spells that then overflowed into creativity. Hope that helps!
Love JBU. How much of the show is written vs improvised? You two have great comic timing and chemistry.
Thanks! We do a rough outline and then improvise the rest based on our characters. I’d say it’s Curb Your Enthusiasm situation. We know basically where we want it to go, but how we get there each time is on the spot.
hey so the latest just between us video made me very uncomfortable because it seemed to be laughing at alison (or alison's character) for not liking to talk about sex or even not wanting to have sex. it may have been a joke in a funny webseries but playing off asexuality as a joke is not extremely sensitive and i was wondering why you did this
Oh, if anything I think we make fun of each other. For instance, my character is constantly called out for being polyamorous or flighty — Allison’s repeatedly referenced my STDs or revolving bedroom door, in a loving way, as I often lovingly make fun of how much she hates sex. I’m sorry it made you uncomfortable! I think the joke was also meant to be how weird I am sexually (we cut lines where I advised the person to buy a leather suit and feathers).
We often use ourselves as the two most extreme sides of the sexuality coin — so for instance, my character thinks of herself as sexually confident but in reality, she’s wrong because she wants everyone to be as open as she is even when they’re uncomfortable, while Allison thinks of herself as pretty together/superior but might actually be judging me for perceived “sluttiness.” Neither of us is right! That’s sort of the joke! My character wants to show you her vagina constantly and overshare and the extreme opposite is Allison, who can’t even say the word “vagina” without crying. My character is sex-positive, but pushy and boundary-less which is often illustrated by how insensitive my character is to Allison.
Allison says, “I don’t identify as asexual, so it’s more poking fun at a person who is uncomfortable talking about sexuality. It’s my fault if I portrayed her as someone who is asexual. It’s more that she/I need help discovering that part of myself, which is different from identifying as asexual (a very real sexual orientation.)”
I’d also add that the idea that asexuals need fixing is WRONG WRONG WRONG, which is why Allison isn’t meant to be one. I should also note that most fans in the comments identify with Allison, because my character is so outlandish and Allison represents the more conventional side of society.
hey yo hey yo, what the f should i do if i am totally head over heels stupidly in love with a stupid boy who is dating someone else, but still leads me on from time to time? we had a "thing" or whatever that never really materialized because we lived far away and now we're in the same city and BAM CHEMISTRY BAM BAM. ugh fuck me.
Yo it is up to him to break off his relationship before he can do anything with you — or talk to his partner because you know, openness could be a thing (though from how you’re talking they’re probably not open). If you’re single, you’re not really doing anything wrong and I’m not sure what you could do other than try very hard to focus on other things like friends and work and even dating new people casually (don’t get in a serious relationship if you “love” someone else obviously) because you can’t control him. The next move has to come from him.
I will say that sometimes when the person is taken they can seem even more desirable so it might be that you only want him so badly because you can’t have him right now. I’m guilty of that, for sure. Either way, the next move is his. Cheating is NOT romantic no matter how many movies make it seem all passionate and exciting. So he’s gotta end that shit before he can hit your shit, you know?
“All of this is typical girl-fear. Once you realize that The Exorcist is, essentially, the story of a 12-year-old who starts cussing, masturbating, and disobeying her mother—in other words, going through puberty—it becomes apparent to the feminist-minded viewer why two adult men are called in to slap her around for much of the third act. People are convinced that something spooky is going on with girls; that, once they reach a certain age, they lose their adorable innocence and start tapping into something powerful and forbidden. Little girls are sugar and spice, but women are just plain scary. And the moment a girl becomes a woman is the moment you fear her most. Which explains why the culture keeps telling this story.”—
Shelley Stamp Lindsey’s “Horror, Femininity, and Carrie’s Monstrous Puberty”
I will add Carol Clover’s Men, Women, and Chain Saws here, although she’s concerned more with identification, monstrous-feminine as men’s horror, and the maternal aspects of possession tales (including a section on possession as oral penetration). Although both Creed and Clover are important feminist horror theorists who work in Psychoanalytical lenses, Barbara Creed talks more about transformation than Carol Clover does. And transformation is key to horror movies about how women are terrifying.
For variations on a theme, watch Ginger Snaps, Carrie, and Teeth together.
May I ask (out of curiosity) why did you unfriend all of your Facebok male friends?
I wrote this below: I unfriended dear friends, and even my own brother. I just wanted one social media space where my feed was only women and so I chose Facebook. I kept those friends on other sites, and of course, can talk to my brother in other ways.
So far, it’s been really nice having one social media feed where the posts are all by women. I’ve enjoyed it. And I can talk to men on Twitter/Tumblr/Instagram/IRL/etc.
Do you really not believe there are valuable males in the world to the point where you're not friending any of them? Wtf
That’s a leap of logic and certainly not why I did it at all. As I wrote below:
I unfriended dear friends, and even my own brother. I just wanted one social media space where my feed was only women and so I chose Facebook. I kept those friends on other sites, and of course, can talk to my brother in other ways.
Why??? lol yes I am a dude. We are not all bad people!
Of course you’re not! I unfriended dear friends, and even my own brother. I just wanted one social media space where my feed was only women and so I chose Facebook. I kept those friends on other sites, and of course, can talk to my brother in other ways.
I'm bummed to no longer be friends with you on Facebook, but I'm more bummed about whatever happened (if it was a specific event that was a breaking point) that caused you to feel like you needed that. It is important that you assert your boundaries and feel safe. At least I can still follow you on Tumblr. :-) Hope to see you around soon once I start getting back on the open mic scene.
The appropriate response! See you on Tumblr/Twitter, buddy!